your physiology is meant to experience emotional intensity

Beyond communicating physical sensations to protect the body, the nervous system is meticulously designed to metabolize and neutralize emotions.

That's why you FEEL angry, sad, excited, or lonely. Feeling is feedback. Feeling is a natural process that, without the modern-age suppressive dynamics of quieting primal response, can be completed almost effortlessly, and more importantly, without lasting trauma.

How did we get so bad at listening? When did uncomfortable sensation in general become a call to anesthetize and not a valuable teaching from creation herself?

With a lack of trust in the interior energy system; meaning the excitation of the human spirit committing anything other than unconditional pushing past, onto the next goal or obligation.

There's a myriad of finger-pointing possibilities when we break it down this way and look for a culprit, but what's most important to know is anything that is programmed to come naturally and deviates off course is receptive and ready to be set straight once more. Even if you hold your breath, the natural rhythm will eventually take over. When we get out of the way, all of life and nature can resume serving us.

We begin reinstating this process with an invocation for the body.

Hand on heart, taking a moment to connect with the gentle place below the busy-ness of your day, ask:

Would I be willing to be the portal through which all of this is seen and held one final time to be radically neutralized in a way where my system is more robust and resilient after having experienced it?

More fully allowing this to permeate the heart space, acknowledging your divine right to say no.

In this space where you've created and tended to that safety with self, you facilitate a communion and dance with your own densities. You, as awareness, are still the center point of this; you are the ultimate creator, the inmate and the executioner alike, the sacred movement overseeing this human duality.

What wants to move through me as the physiological machine that can hold the space for everything that is ready to shift, without making it wrong, without allowing memories and beliefs to infiltrate the space- deciding for us that we're too weak? What wants to move through me when I'm an open receiver, when I'm not steeling against? This isn't always easy, and many times the exact bugger your subconscious was protecting you from rears its head with a vengeance you don't always feel ready for. That's why accepting your "no, not yet's and not at all's" is so vital. My client sessions are specifically for holding you in this and bringing safety to these sensations.

What's freeing, however, is to remember that in early childhood, we organically start here. It is a journey so gentle in motion we hardly perceive ourselves as downgrading to numb or suppressed beings. In the beginning, it can take time to neutralize the space where we're not trusted to hold our emotional intensity and begin suppressing instead.

So often, the adults witnessing our reactions were not equipped to deal with it within or without themselves. That skill is a vital nervous system attunement so many of us don't receive. As a small child, you can't self-regulate; you must co-regulate with your caregiver. I mean, shit, what was happening when I was a child? 9/11, the 2008 financial crisis, pagers going off, tech rapidly expanding and taking over a once quieter life. Now we have 200 interconnected iOS gadgets! There is so much present that it suggests it is not safe to pause and feel this. Absolutely every generation has had crises, rapid movement, and unique barriers to entry to living a truly aligned life in an unpredictable world.

Can you sense the opening merely naming this clearly creates?

Any movement is life force beginning to flow again, and you're welcome to receive this anywhere. I often feel it in a pelvic floor opening, more acutely leaning into an almost metaphorical expression of renewed receptivity. I mean literally in the creative portal, the area that creates life.

So what wants to move through me, really?

Awareness that I am the totality of all of this experience, that I am not the thing or essence it happened to, but I am the source of it, the creator, even if there's resentment around why I would have chosen any one experience. I find it doesn't need a reason because I'm here to experience, deadstop. To feel!! I find what's actually moving in this subtle awareness is forgiveness. Can I forgive my soul intelligence for putting me through the wringer, the experience of feeling so profoundly disconnected and detached from source- that I am confined to being out in the cold where spirit is facilitating the suffering and I am just the hapless victim.

Breathing into/from Christed light, the Pranic force behind all healing. (Love.)

Breathing into dysregulation, grief, despair, major-ness! I see you, I honor you, I hold you in this as the source that created it.

Really, it's not even about the un-creation so much as the assimilation of coming back into your pacing of "I am". I am the soul that wanders. I am the plant in the garden. I am part of the whole; I am not just free, but the highest expression of freedom available. I am sacred.

Wait for that shift, feel it. No rush. It always comes. Altered, different, not what it was before. Same substance perhaps but different form.

The Bridge.

To complete a rotation of this process, we're asked to become that wise meeting point that can hold the duality with so much love, it has no choice but to dissolve in the light of Oneness.

What's in the ego that feels incomplete with what the soul facilitated?

That cosmic loneliness, that you are separate, not just perceiving it but that you are it, broken off and disconnected. In a session, this is where I clear the grid and track this progress. The great shutting of the eye! We're all guilty of it.

Shutting down your inner knowing to stay safe because, in so many iterations of soul experience, we wouldn't be ok to have that third sight intact. Witch wound, anyone?

Intention set: I am willing to be the receiver of all that I am without fear of decimation.

It is so hard to know what you know and then not say anything. Honor that!! This deep refusal of life and light. Leaking down into the energetic center, allow it to work its way out: the sob you've been holding, tension, the scream. Relax and release. It doesn't have to be managed; this inner hit, intuitive impulse, moving into a space within you where that is deeply met. Melt into that sensation, that feeling. Now what's reflected to you from the manifested point? ie., relationship dynamics, money, opportunity, or life experience. The mirror will begin to reflect your inner knowing. Denial is a harsh frequency, baby, I mean, yowza.

The natural alignment of truth is inherently magnetizing you to the manifested experience of that truth played out, whereas denial locks your manifested reality into density, or a dense energetic point in the grid.

From there you come into the divine forgiveness. That is true alchemy. Where there is nothing to forgive because nothing transpired. This is not a pretty platitude; this is what our physiology is designed to do. It's an immense ability to neutralize density and climb the frequency ladder, natural remembrance back into inner alignment; all that is part of the totality of experience. Do you think the gazelle holds resentment at the lion for attempting to eat it? No, it shakes it off to complete the trauma response and continues being a gazelle. This is the process that allows you to create from nature- kindness, joy, frequency, inner coding- versus creating from pain and programming (what we're accustomed to).

This frequency climb is the intelligence to be with the gunk, not be the gunk- (and spread it all over everyone and everything, dirtying our perception of the world.) No matter what happens, you are connected. Your soul intelligence is unthreatenable and undimmable in your connection to Source, for you are Source. Be with what is to naturally rise.

Only you know how good it can get. Only you can release the dualistic thinking that frees you from the looping of stubborn egoic suffering.

Now we become the expression of gratitude, the natural completion and end frequency- all things in Love.

"Thank you for showing me myself. Thank you for understanding me when I didn't understand myself. Thank you for doing your best, for loving me so wholly and implicitly."

Tension release will allow the life force to flow instead of accumulate in the chakra system, so keep releasing the system into harmony and non-polarity consciousness. What's left is there to rail against when you’re the only perspective viewing it? It's a gift to come into remembrance, every time.

with light,

clairese